For 15 years I lived surrounded by rage and numbness. It came from a harsh past, the details of which are still not yet fully known even to my family.
The past and my present work together to present a powerful witness tool as well as a foundation for some tragic characters. However, this complete lack of balanced and healthy emotions for so long has also created in me a heart that seeks out emotional stimulus the same moment it is overwhelmed by it – to the cusp of nausea.
I also have a tendency of giving my characters what they desire without requiring a struggle. It makes for a boring read, and no feelings of accomplishment or triumph at the victory of overcoming.
Luckily, I have quite a few WIPs written from the period of my life when I wanted my characters to suffer as I did. Lonely and filled with rage, they are – or rather, were – able to lash out at those around them. It made for poignant dramatic romances and compelling YA fiction.
Now my challenge is to strengthen the story and the characters without losing their passion and fire. A pleasant struggle, and one in which I will find my own abilities strengthened. After all, we cannot grow without struggles to increase our strength.